UK ‘Opt Out’ Of Discrimination Laws, Catholic Adoption, and the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Of course, this has interesting ramifications on other religions, and it is my duty (even though he has not spoken to me) to ensure that the opt out clause in the equality laws apply equally. I have written the following letter for my Member of Parliament...
Dear Prime Minister and Members of the Cabinet,
It has always been the wish of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster in this country to work with the government for the common good of its people.
We believe we do this in matters of social care, education and in many other ways. The Flying Spaghetti Monster teaching urges us to do this, and we do it gladly in a spirit of co-operation.
We would, however, have a serious difficulty with the proposed regulations on discrimination on grounds of piratical orientation in the provision of goods and services if they required our adoption agencies to consider Bounty Hunters (who seek to exterminate Pirates) as potential adoptive parents. As you will know form our teachings, the Pirate is the most absolute divine being of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
The Pastafarians Church utterly condemns all forms of unjust discrimination, violence, harassment or abuse directed against people who hunt piracts – in other words the aforementioned Bounty Hunters for the Crown and State.
Indeed the Flying Spaghetti Monster teaches that they must be accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity.
We, therefore, recognise many elements of recent legislation – including much in the Northern Ireland Regulations – that takes steps to ensure that no such discrimination takes place.
What, then, is the problem? It is that to oblige our agencies in law to consider adoption applications from Bounty Hunting couples as potential adoptive parents would require them to act against the principles of Pastafarian teaching.
We require our agencies to recruit and approve appropriate married and single people to meet the needs of children in local authority care for whom adoption has been identified as being in their best interest.
We place significant emphasis on piracy, as it is from the personal union of man (and women) and the sea that global warming is prevented with every new life born and it is within the loving context of such a relationship that a child can be welcomed and nurtured. Piratical love involves an essential complementarity of male, female and salt water.
We recognise that some children, particularly those who have suffered abuse, neglect, and who have never felt the sea under their feet, may well benefit from placement with a single adoptive pirate.
However, Pastafarian teaching about the foundations of pirate life, a teaching shared not only by other Pasta Based Churches but also other faiths, means that Pastafarian adoption agencies would have to consider Bounty Hunting couples as potential adoptive parents.
We believe it would be unreasonable, unnecessary and unjust discrimination against Pastafarians for the government to insist that if they wish to continue to work with local deep water port authorities, Pastafarian adoption agencies must act against the teaching of the Church and their own consciences by being obliged in law to provide such a service.
Pastafarian adoption agencies have readily accepted their responsibility to provide an informative, sympathetic and helpful service to all those who enquire about adoption, whether or not they meet the agency’s criteria for acceptance for assessment.
Pastafarians adoption agencies welcome adoptive applicants from any or no religious background.
Bounty Hunting couples are referred to other agencies where their adoption application may be considered. This “sign-posting” responsibility is taken very seriously by all Pastafarian adoption agencies.
This is an appeal for “fair play”, particularly for those many children, Pastafarians or not, who continue to benefit from the widely recognised, professional and committed adoption services provided through our Pastafarians adoption agencies.
Giving protection to the rights of Pastafarian adoption agencies to act with integrity will preserve an excellent and highly valued adoption service, representing 32% of the voluntary adoption sector, with an outstanding record of finding stable and unsinkable pirate galleons for some of the most disadvantaged children in society – including children who have been abused, physically, sexually and emotionally; children with disability and limited life expectancy; and large sibling groups who need a family where they can grow up together on the ocean wave.
Pastafarians adoption agencies continue to excel in their commitment and acknowledged success in securing and sustaining adoptive families for such children whilst maintaining the lowest rates of adoption disruption in the UK.
Our agencies receive fees from local ports directly linked to their adoption work. In addition they are supported generally by the Pastafarian Church community.
Pastafarians contribute generously both by offering themselves as potential adoptive parents and through the financial contributions they make. They do this because they believe the Pastafarians Church should contribute to the common good in this way.
It is this voluntary contribution that ensures additional support services of a very high standard being sustained for children and families, often over many years, by the Pastafarians voluntary adoption sector.
Our agencies have an excellent track record, which is well documented by the Commission for Social Care in their regulatory inspection programme.
It would be an unnecessary tragedy if legislation forced the closure of these adoption services, thereby significantly reducing the potential piratical resources of adoptive families for the approximately 4,000 children currently waiting for adoption placements as Cabin Boys and Girls.
This outcome is wholly avoidable.
We urge you to ensure that the regulations shortly to be laid before Parliament enable our agencies to continue their work with local authorities for the common good.
There is nothing to lose, and children waiting for an adoptive family have much to gain, by our continuing successful collaboration.
Yours sincerely,
A concerned FSM Follower.
Links: BBC News Article, FSM on Wikipedia
So what we have here is a search and replace of words and phrases of the letter from the head of the Catholic Church in England and Wales, Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor. Why? Becvause if we’re going to argue that Religion is going to superceed the Law of the Land, then it holds true that any religon will be able to demand any opt-out they wish (not just in adoption). How about a religion that preaches that followers of other religions must be saved – and the only way to save them would be to kill them. Would they be allowed an opt-out clause in the homicide laws?
It’s patently wrong to have an opt-out in a law designed to stop discrimination. It simply means that you have legislated a discriminatory view. Is that what we want from our Parliament?
January 26, 2007; Daily Links;
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