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Ewan’s Guide to The Eurovision Song Contest 2008

Posted on May 24, 2008
Filed Under Digital Music, Multimedia, Politics, Twitters |

Tonight’s the night! While the semi-finals are both an acquired taste and require true dedication to watch (or perhaps wondering just what the frak Ewan is twittering about…) the final (tonight, Saturday 24th May) pulls in absolutely stonking viewing figures (last year topped eleven million in the UK). For all the media sniping, it is genuinely popular, and does unite Europe through the power of song; which was one of the original goals back in the late fifties.

Anyway, I’ve got the contest inked into my Filofax (yes ink, not pencil, it’s that much of a landmark), sat through the semi’s (FYI my predictions of the correct qualifiers was 6/10 and 7/10 respectively) and now it’s time for me to point out some of the highlights coming up tonight.

I’ll be on twitter throughout the contest (twitter.com/ewanspence) and tagging with #eurovision – please do the same if you join in.

Right then, on with the notes.

Playing second is the United Kingdom. As one of only five countries that haven’t been bloodied in combat by the semi-finals (the others are Germany, France and Spain, who pay for the contest, and Serbia as the hosts) we’ll be at a disadvantage for not having been heard previously, and not had the rush of a live performance. Oh and we don’t supply oil to anybody, or have a collection of former states to give us a block vote. Expect 12 points from Ireland, and not much else. Which is a shame, in a genuine contest this should be mid tables, but Eurovision is more than just the song.

It’s quite a slow start this year, and the UK is going to be leading in people’s minds, but then it’s time to open with the first strong true ‘Eurovision’ Song, in this case Armenia’s Gele Gele, a mix of traditional folk sound mixed with a nice ready for the dance floor track. They’re playing fifth.

Right after that in sixth place is the delightfully quirky Laka, representing Bosnia and Herzegovina. If Tim Burton ever decided to choreograph a music video, it would look like this. Ireland, take note, this is how to do a quirky song with amazing visuals on stage. This is Helena Bonham Carter / Johnny Depp mad.

Israel is seventh, and probably the best time for your first run to the kitchen for more alcohol.

Because Finland is eighth. For years the Finns sent traditional folk music, and got… nowhere, which was going to leave them abandoned in the semi-finals if that route continued. So the metal-heads influenced the voting, and they sent Lordi two years ago. And won. Last year’s power rock ballad threatened a more moderate tone, but they’ve come to their senses and sent Terasbetoni, a nice hard rock, galloping stadium rocker. No masks, no intricate pyrotechnics, but a very satisfying foot on the amplifier number.

And then ninth we have 75 Cent – and if you’re thinking isn’t that just an older 50 Cent but with a Croatian flavour, you’d be right. Enjoy it, this is a delightful euro-pop mix of folk, Las Vegas lounge lizard and someone really enjoying themselves in their old age.

Skip Poland (I scored them second last in their semi) and delight in Iceland’s return to form. The band is called, I kid you not, Europop, and when the clubs pick up songs from Eurovision to play next weekend, this should be there. Don’t forget that Iceland is, to all intents, a part of the Scandanavian Block Vote – more on that in a moment.

Because Turkey happily pops up in slot number 12 with a song that is rather Muse/Chemical Romance/Pop Punk but has a very strong performace. That really helps the song, especially as it is sung in Turkish. The emigrated Turks got this comfortably out of their semi final and this is is going to be the one that gathers the ‘he’s a bit of rough’ vote. And they use the most pyros of any act!

And then there’s Latvia. Or as everyone else describes them… the pirates! Quite simply, if Johnny Depp had been replaced in Pirates of the Caribbean by Steps, you would get Wolves of the Sea. I love this track and was really upset at their performance in the semi finals – nerves seemed to get the better of them and the audio lost all the bass that makes the song work. But they still qualified (hey they are pirates!!!) so on that strength, I’m saying top ten for them

First potential winner in my mind now, in the form of Sweden’s Charlotte Perrelli. She’s won the contest before (incidental she was playing fifteenth in that final, the same slot she occupies tonight - is that a sign?) and this hits all the right notes, it’s pop/dance, it sounds like Abba, it’s catchy as hell, has a fantastic key change, and if the Scandanavian Block gets behind this one there’s 48 points in the bag without even trying. If Western Europe falls in line as well she can do a Johnny Logan.

One of the surprises from the Semi finals was from Denmark. All Night Long, the sort of song you could see Robbie Williams singing (except it’s Simon Matthew here) and getting everyone bouncing in their seats. In a weaker year this would do very well, but I think there’s too much quality (and Balkan states) to allow more than one challenger from the older countries.

Ukraine plays eighteenth, and the Shady Lady of Ani Lorak is one of my picks for success this year. The song is a driving dance number, and the on stage performance appears to have been organized by Penn and Teller with a dash of Baz Lurman. Pay close attention to this one, and expect the Baltic countries to decide if their loyalties are going to this or Russia.

France is singing in English. That’s big news… in France. Next!

Quick roll out Eddie Izzard, becase Azerbaijan is singing in twentieth, proving that a good stage show can make up for a rather predictable man on man duet. White Angels, Black Devils, and a good stage show will give them a respectable result.

Greece comes up with a catchy number in Secret Combination. Its probably a strong song to make a chart appearance after the event, but on the night, with only Cyprus and potentially Armenia in a block vote cabal it’s not stand out enough to stand on it’s own. Mid table, which is a shame.

There’s not much to say about Spain apart from it sounds like it was performed on a Commodore 64 and has “Dance like Robocop” as a lyric.

Watch for an absolutely massive reaction in the stadium from Serbia – coming after the quirk of Spain will help this song immensely although the appeal outside the former Yugoslavian states is not going to be enough to see us return to Belgrade next year.

Russia is our penultimate track in twenty forth and they’ve got two strong advantages. The first is that singer Dima Bilan is an absolute hearth throb across all the Baltic states and is going to gather a huge vote on the strength of that. And they have a portable ice rink. Oh and Russia supplies a lot of oil to a lot of countries. Not that this would have any effect on the result at all. You’d be a fool and a communist to suggest otherwise. Err…

And we finish up with Norway and a belter of a diva in Maria, who’s under doctor’s orders to not talk or risk loosing her voice before tonight. If there’s a song I’ve been singing in my head out of all 43 entries this year, it’s this one, so I’m kinda glad it’s playing last. I think the Scandanavians are going to go for Sweden as opposed to Norway but there’s absolutely no chance of nul points here. If (and it is a big if) Sweden messes up on the night, there’s a fighting chance Maria could just sneak into contention.

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And there we have it, twenty five songs, a mass of culture and fun (and Terry Wogan hitting the bottle just after Bosnia and Herzegovina take the stage). It’s going to be fantastic! Once the songs are up, a group of us, by tradition, will pick our favourite three songs, and whoever gets the highest scores by adding the three countires scores together is informally declared the winner. If you’d like to join in, then once it’s all over just submit your three countries on Twitter (include #eurovision in the text). And assuming it stays up, I’ll be commentating there all night!

Comments

2 Responses to “Ewan’s Guide to The Eurovision Song Contest 2008”

  1. Mark on May 24th, 2008 14:42

    I’ll see you on Twitter/Summize tonight.

    Regarding that Russian track: I hear that, I hear Wild World by Cat Stevens, and I think of Father Ted and My Lovely Horse. Shouldn’t be allowed.

  2. Ewan Spence on May 24th, 2008 14:55

    That’s not as bad as last year’s entry from Sweden (The Worrying Kind) which just reminded me soooooo much of Edison Lighthouse’ “Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes!”

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