Smash Hit’s “20 Eurovision Belters…”
Back in October, UK music TV station Smash Hits ran one of their many themed portions, but this time with a Eurovision bent. Entitles “20 Eurovision Belters….” it was always going to be interesting to see what tracks they decided to play on a decidedly mainstream UK channel.
Amazingly (for the UK) they were pretty good about the picks. There was UK bias in choosing some runners up from the BBC National Finals, and while the debate over Jemini’s inclusion should be obvious (it was a poor performance on the night, but the song itself is a a reasonably good Europop sound), and they have played music from foreign countries, I’m really annoyed at some of the decisions made in their Top 20.
Presented in reverse order on the day, I’m counting back from number one in my notes for you.
- 1. Waterloo (Abba); Sweden
Utterly predictable choice for number one. - 2. Making Your Mind Up (Bucks Fizz);UK
Also, utterly predictable choice. - 3. Ooh Ahh (Just a Little Bit) (Gina G);UK
UK take note, an Australlian singer representing the UK. We can choose anyone to play for us in 2009! - 4. Love Shine a Light (Katrina and the Waves);UK
Still, in my mind, the greatest Eurovision song of all time. - 5. Diva (Dana International); Israel
Good choice of song, and one of the few non UK songs Smash Hits have chosen. Yaay! - 6. Flying the Flag (Scooch); UK;
In 1994, Alan Cumming and Forbes Mason’s The High Life had the two air stewards writing a song for Eurovision (Pif Paf Poof) and singing the double entendre song in their airline outfits. In 2007, Scooch took the idea seriously. Europe didn’t. Why is this so high in the list? - 7. Hold Me Now (Johnny Logan); Ireland
He wrote the song himself, he was coming back as a previous winner, and he still tore the house down. Still think Smash Hits should have played ‘My Lovely Horse’ though. - 8. Better The Devil You Know (Sonia);UK
Another of our glorious second places, but that’s what happens when you send proficent performers with a good song and the respect of their home country. They cope with a stadium environment, they can deliver on the night, and we get a good result. - 9. Hard Rock Hallelujah (Lordi);Finland
Love the band, love the video, love the effect they had on Eurovision, love the rest of their albums, would rate in top Eurovision moments of all time. And congrats to Smash Hits for acknowledging them (I see there’s no Dima Bilan in this list…). - 10. Cry Baby (Jemini); UK
Oh that’s what it sounds like when sung in tune… - 11. Teenage Kicks (Daz Sampson); UK
This grew on me, but it took months, not the two hours needed for the voters on the night. Besides, it was 2006, so Dima Bilan and Lordi were on the same bill. - 12. Touch My Fire (Javine); UK
Perhaps the suggestive lyrics were too subtle for Europe? - 13. Wild Dances (Ruslana); Ukraine
Xena + Ethnic Riverdance + Rhytym = Eurovision Winner - 14. Come Back (Jessica Garlick); UK
Quite simply, if this had been in the second half of the 2002 Eurovision, it would have won. As it was, performing second and placing third is statistically the best song never to win (I made that up by the way, but I bet it’s true). - 15. Every Way I Can (Sertab); Turkey
That’s better. Hmm, I’ve never seen the video for this, it’s even more powerful than the performance on the night. I like! - 16. Even If (Andy Abraham); UK
He couldn’t win the X-Factor, nobody bought his single in the UK, and we expected more than last place from the 2008 entry? Why??? - 17. Hold On To Our Love (James Fox); UK
You see this is where it started to go wrong. After Garlick’s 2003 almost winning performance, we sent an almost identical song, but now sung by a bloke with a guitar. It finished twelth, and we’ve never recovered. - 18. Say It Again (Precious); UK
Next!!! - 19. I Need You (Deuce); UK
Oh come on, this came third in the UK National Final and we sent Love City Groove. Why not play that? Ah, because one of them is married to one of Ant or Dec - 20. Fly On The Wings of Love (XLF)
XLF is the remix, not the original Eurovision 2000 Winner by the Olsen Brothers
Final thoughts? Love Shine a Light only at number 4? And you’ve charted Scootch and Jemini? Behind Jessica Garlick? Pah, a pox on you all!
November 11, 2008; Eurovision;
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